4:34 a.m. - 2009-07-07
What I don't understand is...
why aren't you frozen to the ground, or encased in amber, trapped and preserved just the way I used to remember you. If I haven't changed (and well, come on, look at me) then why did you feel the need to go on living your life and meeting new people, and going to school and striving for more? Did you even know you wanted those things when you first strove for them, or did you find out, completely by happenstance, along the way and float along with whichever wisp of wind carried you?
You were right, I've never tried hard at anything in my life. The things I can do came easy to me, the things that seemed marginally difficult, I quit before having a chance to fail at.
I just wish I knew how to take that first step for myself... I know one thing, the answer is not in my past and it definitely is not in my room!
