4:40 a.m. - 2007-10-18
Dodo time
If I put my mind to it, I really don't think there's anything that I'm looking forward to. Ever. There's Halloween and Thanksgiving. Not to mention Christmas, but I just can't work up any desire for me to participate in them.
On a day to day basis, the only things that seem to occupy my thoughts are my ratios on various torrent sites. It used to be email and downloads and movies and foreign TV shows and such, but now it's simply a numbers game. Sigh...
Food. I don't really give much thought to it lately. Mainly it's a spur of the moment thing and limited to any fast food stores within a mile radius of the house. I did go to the Sign of the Beefcarver recently, but that was more about nostalgia and wanting to be the youngest person in the room.
I finally finished my move today, some 8 months after I started. God, has it really been that long. Anyway I got the last few straggling items out from under Chris' stairs and I know they're happy about it and I know I need to find room to store it downstairs (or better yet, throw most of it out) but in some ways it seems like I'm a man without a country now.
I realize that my support system, such as it was, is crumbling. Friends that I used to talk to have families and school. Online friends are busy, or non-existent. My parents moved 2 hours away and I think I hate my ex-wife sufficiently to never speak with her again. Too bad, for over a decade she was my best friend.
Everybody is moving on fine without me and I'm still sat here typing worthless pixels into an uncaring blogosphere, cluttering up an already irrelevent internet.
Did the dodo know when it's time was up?
