3:52 a.m. - 2007-05-30
Fake Swearing
Focus. Something I have a real problem doing. I'm not talking about the laser beam obsessive thoughts that I routinely get to distract me from my own mundane existence. Those come with such alacrity that it scares me. No, I'm talking about true, conducive, productive planning. I can't think that far in the future because I'm kidding myself that I'm going to find that one other person who "gets" me and I'll be saved from my loneliness.
Just now I took a five minute break because I got distracted by the TV. Junk food, porn, music, movies, crushes. These are the things that are not real. Work, discipline, real curiousity, exercise. What am I so afraid of? Not measuring up? Not measuring period? Can you put a question mark at the end of a sentence that you finished by spelling the word period? Apparently. Well that's enough for now, until tomorrow when I edit this entry and stifle any trace of emotion and passion.
