5:13 a.m. - 2012-01-15
I'm feeling anxious today
Today, for no reason I could exactly put my finger on, I felt incredibly anxious. I'm concerned that the deposit that I put down on the 97 Thunderbird will be a mistake and I should be more wary with the few things that I already know are wrong with it, but I really still want it. Yeah, it's a gamble, but I already know that my minivan is a ticking time bomb and only a matter of months before the transmission goes completely on it.
My second full semester of College (and first with anything approaching full time studenthood) has just gotten underway in earnest and I'm not sure if I'm tough enough to handle it while simultaneously feeling that I could take at least three more classes at the same time and still get a 4.0. I'm just in the early stages of believing in myself and it feels extremely creepy and definitely foreign to the way I have conducted my life so far.
I haven't exercised or eaten well for three weeks now and, even though I can justify the exercise thing since I've been super sick with a lovely winter cold, there is no excuse for how quickly and easily I slipped back into my old daily fast food habits.
Other potential roadblocks in the very near future: needing to sell my aforementioned minivan for the most I can get without really screwing someone over to defray the cost of having to buy my "new" 15 year old car. Fixing the leak in my new trunk which could be a minor weather stripping patch or a whole take-off-the-decklid-and-check-the-welds type of situation. Either way I'll be well out of my depth.
For the short term I know that at the very least I have my palliative tacos and gorditas to help me make it through. Sad, but something...
